2009 and slowly on though naturally some immediate pain.

Forward shall I struggle with god beside me and I shall over come all!

What is life that doth deals a tender stroke with one hand and pain with the other? I is just life and we should be grateful for it!

And so I face this year empowered through enterprise with the local Council and Arms Length Management Organisation, this is a good thing, finally I am finding my true self and abilities.

And just last year I passed the first part of my B.S.L. another feather in the cap. This year sees me forging forward with the Teacher training and continuing the B.S.L. plus the German at college, coupled with three courses about to start from the O.U. Education then will be in large heaps until I am buried amongst it!

But for so much progress forward I am shunted back in a horrible way, my estranged Grandfather (Fathers side) is now departed from this world, to which I feel saddened, even though because of estrangement I mourned him years ago. A tragic loss to have missed out on the great opportunity for me to have a Grandfather and as important for him to have Me as a grandson! I blow my own trumpet not when I say as a person the single thing I have discovered is I am not a horrible Human being, thus makes sense to say he did indeed miss out far too much, solely because of other selfish people.

Still long in trousers am I and long in tooth I am getting, as such I stay pragmatic in so far as I cannot now change a thing, missed opportunities are just that, gone forever, however they serve to remind us to maybe grab the next one and hold tightly to it.

A memory for my Grandfather, alongside my Dad, my Granddad and Nan, with my dearest cousin naturally in with them all, to that I shall add My Queen,My Candy and My Prince, My Sweep for whom the memory of loss still pains like a molten dagger through my heart. No death forgotten, though should I so young have had to face such numbers of nearest death I question!

Again pragmatic Me I shall not mourn, but strive to celebrate them all and prove post life than I can make it against all the odds and change this world even a small bit for the better.

Onwards, and once again Upwards...........and the world should indeed fear the angry Conservative man with a plan