One year ago on the 17th

My angel sent by god and then returned a whole year ago, lucky am I to have had an angel for even that small amount of time.

Yes one year ago on the 17th my little man past from this world, my pain is no less, just dulled with time. I miss him and my Jazz seemingly more and more each and every day.

However I still have my other babies and they bring me nothing but love, delight and friendship. I am indeed blessed to have had my Sweep and cannot forget that.


Other news I currently am beginning my level 2 BSL. My Diploma in teaching (DTLLS) begins on the 25th. My French begins the end of the month and I am at the first assignment for my CIH certificate in housing.

There seems to be no stopping me

Onwards, upwards with my God in my heart!

2009 and slowly on though naturally some immediate pain.

Forward shall I struggle with god beside me and I shall over come all!

What is life that doth deals a tender stroke with one hand and pain with the other? I is just life and we should be grateful for it!

And so I face this year empowered through enterprise with the local Council and Arms Length Management Organisation, this is a good thing, finally I am finding my true self and abilities.

And just last year I passed the first part of my B.S.L. another feather in the cap. This year sees me forging forward with the Teacher training and continuing the B.S.L. plus the German at college, coupled with three courses about to start from the O.U. Education then will be in large heaps until I am buried amongst it!

But for so much progress forward I am shunted back in a horrible way, my estranged Grandfather (Fathers side) is now departed from this world, to which I feel saddened, even though because of estrangement I mourned him years ago. A tragic loss to have missed out on the great opportunity for me to have a Grandfather and as important for him to have Me as a grandson! I blow my own trumpet not when I say as a person the single thing I have discovered is I am not a horrible Human being, thus makes sense to say he did indeed miss out far too much, solely because of other selfish people.

Still long in trousers am I and long in tooth I am getting, as such I stay pragmatic in so far as I cannot now change a thing, missed opportunities are just that, gone forever, however they serve to remind us to maybe grab the next one and hold tightly to it.

A memory for my Grandfather, alongside my Dad, my Granddad and Nan, with my dearest cousin naturally in with them all, to that I shall add My Queen,My Candy and My Prince, My Sweep for whom the memory of loss still pains like a molten dagger through my heart. No death forgotten, though should I so young have had to face such numbers of nearest death I question!

Again pragmatic Me I shall not mourn, but strive to celebrate them all and prove post life than I can make it against all the odds and change this world even a small bit for the better.

Onwards, and once again Upwards...........and the world should indeed fear the angry Conservative man with a plan

Disbelief and My Sweep has gone before me

My Baby Sweep waits the other side of the gate between this world and the next. I will see you again My little Prince.

Yes I have completed the year of Rundblicks German, and sent off my written text and readied myself as best I can (explanations further on) for the Oral exam

I am not 100% confident in speaking German, at least I can create some sentences but I lack the whither all to go for it.

Thus no shock I am nervous but determined to give it my very best shot. Some horror then to find I can barely here my tutor because of a 'Hiss' in the background, but on I soldier grasping various bits and pieces to then form the correct sentences as a reply, such basics as name, address, hobbies I manage with a little difficulty through the 'Hiss'

Next though comes part two of the exam and I am now struggling to hear my tutor even begin it, so bad it gets I hear almost nothing and finally have to ask in German my tutor to be louder, three times I ask this, when all else failed I am shouting at the screen in English I cannot hear a word.

from then on in my concentration is shattered and my mind depletes of German very rapidly, needless to say part two of the exam is a distinct failure.

I have now written to the O.U. via their forms for such events to state my case, initially I was in shock now I just feel cheated.

Onwards to my event, My Sweepy passed away and it feels as though my heart was torn to pieces. The most awful experience in the world and already I miss him so very much.

to my Sweep I hope god cherishes you as much as we did.


Onwards, sadder, and maybe once my head is straight back upwards............maybe

Under pressure and the worst of news

God Bless my Angels all, but especially Sweep today!!!!

Well let me start with what is important, and that is my Sweep dog being diagnosed with a heart problem that ultimately will shorten his life to about 1-2 years from now.

I am gutted to all ends I would sacrifice all to gain him the time he has just lost and yet I know nothing can change what is to come, tears and there were many are part of the grief and yet I still see him as a happy 'healthy' puppy despite all.

Now all I can do is continue to give him the love I have and hope when he gets to dog heaven he can remember being that loved, God bless him........because he above me deserves that blessing.


Onwards to the OTHER pressure, my workload for Uni and college has taken a massive hit with the denial of time and a place of sanctuary to study from in the form of Council workers (rather Subcontractors) charged with carrying out decent work to a decent level under the good homes scheme.

Needless to say they should be prosecuted under trades description for the shoddy half arsed jobs they have butchered into my home!! Three weeks now is SIX weeks and they still have not completed having to actually return to fix the abortions they have created initially.

If this is the standard of imported workmen and the cheapest native workmen then we need a serious rethink as I am certain trained chimps could have achieved better with less shit involved!!!!!!

Anyway ultimate ending is these labotomised fools have by virtue of denial of access to my books and my study area made me behind in study and submission of work! (thanks you cretins) As such I am yet again playing catch up.

However some light is today I managed to submit T.M.A.04 Rundblicks thankfully, this just leaves the Maths and GCSE work to catch up on.

Fingers crossed for those then, onwards and as always upwards..................

Results oh yeah

One year on I am tired, fatter (slightly thanks to quitting the cigarettes) healthier (see across) and honestly a lot happier with my self made lot than I was previously

2007 has been a good year, I have seen much of great beauty and experienced a great many things most will never even try, and I believe in it I have grown as a person as a soul, to 2008 and beyond I look forward now, for a first time in a long time...........

Santa Claus is coming to town, bringing guns and shooting you down.....Futurama Santa, now there's a story for the kids

My little man is as well as he is ever going to be thanks be to god and a decent vet.

MU120 final result A PASS : 73%

Which given everything inclusive of the huge gap in my maths education is simply brilliant and I am incredibly happy with it as a result
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Rundblicks German T.M.A. result : 93%

First T.M.A. and a great result overall again very very pleased

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Update on Sweep

Vets today and he is as healthy as he ever has been, possible correction of the head tilt over a longer time, or worse case no correction now at all.

Whatever he is a well dog who has already adapted to this disability and he is loved and should thus have the best possible life despite his head tilt.


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Onwards and upwards as we speed towards my Birthday unchecked and seemingly finally making progress in my life personally at last.

What a simply great year this has been, yes health wise I could even cite now the degree of pain in my legs slowly fatiguing me beyond a point of exhaustion as being of concern, however I cannot complain or demand any more of the health service, they have utterly failed in their care of duty towards me and I shall rather endure the pain than be for one second longer a practice guinea pig for their inept ways.

Thus 2008 looms over the horizon but getting bigger every day, and it promises to be a great year, possibly as great as this one, I finally look forward, tinged with my usual pessimism because I await some other trial for me and mine to face.

All currently though is calm and for that I thank God.

Update and Christmas and Bunnies

And we must defend this if only because if we do not, then other claimed religions step in and make mockery of all that is Britain, or as bad, the left wing dream of a secular state occurs and we have seen what society that has produced so far!

Onwards they went to Bethlehem, the nativity, simply the best story ever

18TH 1 WHOLE YEAR CLEAN OF THIS POISON

Sweep long may he lick and bark (thank god)

Well Sweep is now back to his old self, he just has a twisted neck at times, pretty much we now have a slightly disabled dog, irony personified

but he is happy and giving out his usual licks and that thus is all that can be asked

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Small rabbits, that is what I saw today in my friends garden, but not just small baby rabbits which would be enough for most mortals, NO! Add in a Robin, Thrush, three Sparrows, two Squirrels, plus mum and dad Rabbit and honestly it was the most fantastic spectacle I have seen in an age.

Hopefully there will be some form of pictures soon as this is a regular 'event'

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Christmas...................I purchased the Nativity for my Grandson to have read or to later read, not because I wish to indoctrinate him into any religion, but because I feel it is important to know and if there is any religious input into his life I would prefer it to be that of our Judeo- Christian heritage rather than the left wing approved vacuous empty non moralistic secular system, or worse still some imported nonsense from afar that promotes death and second classing women rather than any manner of virtue or care.

Such is the way I feel, such is the fight back to a decent society, one man cannot change anything.....but yes it is a start, with any luck perhaps there are many more like me who consider it better to have Christianity, than some death cult, or no hope at all in the youngs hearts.

Not long now and it is my 38th Birthday..........I feel tired and maybe slightly older, but most I feel I have taken too long to become the true me, I hope I have enough time now to effect the change around me I so hope for

time will tell
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btw 18TH DECEMBER 2007 will be one whole year NOT SMOKING....hooray for me, yippee for my cleaner lungs
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14th December sees me at college for hopefully enrollment in yet another course


updates as and when

Sweep Update

He is still fighting and thus hopefully he'll soon be home and biting, my Sweep, like no other.

Well today saw the vet scare the life out of myself and Wife, she 'apparently needed to see us' when we dropped off out respective mobile numbers

and in she came ashen faced and took five minutes in a solemn voice to say a whole heap of technical vet phrases to which I had to simply ask......."So what exactly does that mean, is my dog going to be ok ????"

finally we got a yes (though from this Vets behavior you would have been hard pressed to actually guess it) with some finger crossed motions and the assurance every single much needed thing was actually working on him and it was just he keeps now falling over, possibly a inner ear problem at best, at worse some brain problem (fingers crossed it is not that to coin the phrase from the vet)

later on I rang up and was told he finally had eaten some solids (good positive sign) and he was Brighter than he had been since entry (I sighed and then nearly cried to here such good news)

I now for a second day say my prayers that my baby is going to be ok

updates as soon as I know

Secondary to all this is my mind being some what distracted from my studies, as such I have suspended anything to do with them till I know my dogs coming back, the reality is I cannot concentrate and thus I would be wasting effort, I hope this is all rectified very soon, but I shall make my tutors aware tomorrow .